Phase 2: Better late than never

I've had serious issues this week staying on the wagon. This was the week I was supposed to be in Phase 2 and stepping everything up a notch. Instead, I went back several steps. SOOO not okay.


I think it's only fair to say that at this point I've obliterated my diet. I am past the point of saving it. Now I must taper off this ketogenic diet and back into regular old healthy eating. I am very okay with eating a lot more fruits and veggies and whole grains in the long run.

So tomorrow I will start Phase 2 including all the aforementioned tricks less the "sticking to keto without substitutions" thing. If I can't manage, I'll start the keto again. But I have to give a regular diet a fair shot and if I'm going to be doubling up on the exercise at home and in the gym then itwould be nice to have enough energy to do that.

I've decided, to keep myself motivated for this next step, to adopt a new motto. While reading my book on Columbine (cleverly entitled "Columbine" by Dave Cullen), we read about how Eric Harris - the psychopath who had a bigger hand in slayings - had a fascination and adoration for Nazi beliefs. Since he found himself to be superior to most of those he knew in his life, he adopted their motto of "Kein mitleid" meaning "no mercy" when it came to sparing those who were beneath him.

I have no similar beliefs to Nazis and I do not believe that what Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold did was in any way admirable or a good deed. But there's something about this motto I like. I want to adopt it as my motto for good, not evil. When I want to destroy myself and abuse myself b/c I feel weak and unworthy, I shall give myself no mercy and push forward. When I start to feel as those I may never make it to the finish line, I will give myself no mercy and go, go, go until I'm done. I can't afford not to.

Kein mitleid. Weil ich es wert bin.