Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The Game Plan

The last day and a half have been a blur of hormonally-charged bad health decisions. But alas, I am under control again. I weighed in at over 200.2 today. NOT! OKAY! That is a huge wake-up call already. Yes maybe I'm gaining some muscle from the running, but there's no way its that much. I'm obviously screwing up the eating habits.

Since I've decided to make running a regular part of my schedule and get training for that half-marathon in October, I have decided to attack my fitness as follows:

Mon & Wed: Run before work, walk during lunch, low-intensity cardio after work
Tuesdays: Weights before work, walk during lunch, low-intensity cardio after work, Biggest Loser
Thursdays: Low-intensity cardio before work, walk during lunch, more LIC after work plus a training session
Fridays: Run before work, low-intensity cardio after work (Fris will be done work at noon!) or some active/outdoor activity!
Saturdays: Low-intensity cardio or active/outdoor activity
Sundays: "Rest" day which will still include at least a walk around in the sun or shopping/errands if raining

If I'm on a schedule, I can manage this fine. All lunch-time walks are weather pending but the goal is to do them at least 3 times a week. Obviously if there's a whole week of rain I won't be going for a walk so I'll do what I can before and after work. However I don't mind running in the rain before work. And once my training sessions are done (i only have a few left on my contract) then I'll do weights before work like Tuesdays.

This is manageable. It's a lot but it'll kickstart me back into the habit. I don't think I'll burn out from it. Not to mention there are days that I wont' be able to do my low-intensity cardio after work because I'll have the second job in the evening but with a schedule like this, a night job thrown in isn't going to hinder my progress too greatly. And of course coupled with better eating habits I'll be good to go.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

MADdash 5k

Today I ran my second 5k. But funny enough, it feels like my first. Because I actually ran the WHOLE thing this time!!!



My goal was to either get a better time than I did on my first 5k at JFK, or to run the whole thing since I didn't last time. I realize that because you lose steam that I'd probably have a longer time but if I ran the whole thing it's a whole new sense of accomplishment. AND I DID IT!!!! I ran the whole 3.1 miles of the MADdash 5k!!!



I started off the race prepared to pace myself better than I did last time. Last time I didn't pay attention to my stride and pace that I set from the starting line. But I wanted to have more stamina this time so I paid close attention. And yknow what? It paid off! Because last time, after mile 1 I HAD to stop. I was so beat already. This time, even in 90 degree weather, I felt great at the first mile marker. The course was a little stranger. We ran through the streets of a corporate park and the starting line was where the finish line was. So you basically wind up running 1.5 miles out, turning around at a median and coming back the direction you came from on the opposite side of traffic. I saw where the second mile marker was across the street and thought to myself "Okay. I can manage this!" The stretch of road down to the turnaround point just kept going and going and going. Finally I saw the turnaround point and was like "okay. I can do this." At mile marker two I still felt pretty good. The sun was really beating down adn there was less shade on this side of the street so I was really finally starting to feel the effects of the heat. But I just kept going. I kept telling myself "C'mon. Just push a little farther." For the most part I just tried to zone out and stop thinking about the fact that I was running so I wouldn't psyche myself out. Then, just as I thought I was getting too tired and would have to walk soon, I recognized the turn in the road that meant we were close to the end. And I thought "Oh my god. I could do this! I could run the whole thing!" And so I went a little farther and then turned the last corner and all of a sudden I saw the flag hanging. "Just a little farther." I really thought I was going to have to walk soon. It was so hot. The shade wasn't doing anything to help. And then I saw it....the big red flag reading "FINISH". I couldn't actually see the line across the street, but I saw the flag. "I CAN DO THIS! I CAN DO THIS!" I literally said it out loud to myself. I passed by some old high school friends manning the fire truck as I neared the end and one of them got a picture of me on his Droid. I'm wearing a pink shirt with a face to match at this point! I wanted to really bring it home and run as hard as I could for the last leg of the race, but I just couldn't push myself any harder apparently. But I did it! I finished! And I ran the whole thing!



I wound up doing 35 minutes and 17 seconds. It's exactly 1 minute and 12 seconds slower than my original 5k time. But you know what? I'm prouder of this 5k than I am of the first one. The first one I was so ashamed of myself for needing to walk, especially so early on. Today was the first day I really felt like I could be a runner. I know I'll never be faster, but I have the endurance to at least finish the race. And I couldn't be more prouder of myself for it. I couldn't stop smiling.



A few days ago I decided I wanted to run a half marathon for my birthday. And now? I feel like that's a very attainable goal. :)

Friday, April 30, 2010

My first 5k

















A while ago I knew I wanted to train for the memorial 5k for Maddy. It seemed like it was forever away and that I had tons of time to train. Well....the time quickly approached. And as the months went by that I did nothing but maintain (and if I'm honest with myself, turned from a lean 190 into a flabby 190) I realized how little time I had to be a runner.

Tara Costa advertised a really cool 5k on her Facebook fan page called the JFK Runway Race. You run a 5k ON the JFK airport runway! How cool is that?! She was going to run the race too, and I convinced my high school friend, Cassie, to join me since she's a big Tara fan too. There were promises of Tara signings and photos, goodie bags, and an amazing experience. Queens, NY by 7 am or not...I was going!

The day before the race, the course had to be changed. We were no longer going to be running ON the runway. I'm still not sure why. So we wound up running the outside roads leading into the terminal. It was still an experience for me since it was my first race, but a lot of people were annoyed at the last minute change. Since speed is not my forte with running, my goal was to not walk. That plan was soon foiled after only mile 1. I don't know if it's because I was not used to running outside or if I got caught up in other people's pace, but I was already in terrible pain once I hit the one-mile marker. They greeted everyone at 1 mile with cups of water that you just ran by to grab and I tried jogging while sipping but that just didn't work. I figured it would be an excuse to walk for a second. The whole time, Cassie and her friend and I all kept a similar pace. We promised not to stay at each other's pace if the other wanted to go ahead. But ultimately, we were all pretty much at the same speed (Cassie's friend a little faster than us). Jarrett, Cassie's fiance, is a lot faster than all of us so he started the race out front and finished in nearly half the time that we did! The rest of us girls would run, walk, and then the other would catch up to whoever was in front, we'd walk together for a bit and then started jogging together again. I think we only finished about 30 seconds apart. For my first 5k I clocked in after 3.1 miles at 34 minutes and 5 seconds. Definitely not a good time, but considering that was my first time out and I walked a good portion? I'd say that's actually pretty good. And it's also a pretty good indication that I was just caught up in someone else's speed instead of my own. At my own pace on a treadmill I typically do a 5k in just under 40 minutes without walking.

After the walk you immediately get a bottle of water and get in line to collect your goody bag. It was a tote from the Rotary Club sponsoring the event with some flyers for other events inside, a few mini candies, a pen shaped like an airplane, and a few other trinkets I can't recall. Immediately after this station was a place to pick up your race tshirt, a bagel and a banana. They didn't seem to be the most organized in their distribution, but I guess with over 1,000 participants they were doing the best they could. So we lingered for a bit and then got in line to meet Tara. This time it was very anticlimactic for me. I don't know if it's because I met her already or because I was tired from the race. But it was nice to see her again. I still wanna be her real-life friend!

It was a long commute but very worth it. That experience was a wake-up call that it doesn't matter how much weight I've lost already, I still have a long way to go. I'm 50 lbs down but I still couldn't run a full 5k without some difficulty. I've been running before work this week to gear up for the MADdash5k tomorrow and I still don't know if I'm going to make a better time my goal, or not to walk at all my goal. All I know is that there will be pictures and I will be scrapbooking all my racing bibs, times and info.

Here are some pictures from the race:

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Failure is not an option

Five months. Five months is about how long I've wasted. For some reason, having a boyfriend made me completely lose sight of myself and all the things I wanted. I fell into a depression and a rut that I could not fight my way out of. Don't get me wrong...I'm not saying it's his fault. It's completely my own. I let things get out of control and I didn't time manage well enough to do everything I needed to do for myself. Or maybe I just wasn't ready to be dating while I'm still working on myself. Either way...I failed to hold onto what was making me happy.

My last few posts have been few and far between and all saying the same thing. "Back on the wagon, back on the wagon." Same tune, different words. I felt myself self destructing at the drop of a hat and I reached another breaking point. And it's not the same as the past "I'll do better" half-assed attempts have been. This feels true. I know this is real because I've set new goals for myself and my eating habits are better without me dreading what I'll do without proper preparation. I feel ready. I don't know why I had to start all over, but I feel ready again. That wasn't true before.

My mental state was a lot of the reason I couldn't pull out of the rut. I'm only two days out of this rut, but it's enough to know its real. A lot has happened since my last post. And I'd like to post each thing separately so that I can blog daily again. But this feels legit. And this feels right. I want to finish what I started.

Project 23 continues...

Saturday, February 13, 2010

No excuses, just results

Let's face it. I screwed up. Big time. I spent way too long figuring ways to justify my behavior of eating crap and not going to the gym. Upon talking to Shane at the gym, he said "Aren't you tired of saying 'I'm back on the wagon now'?" To which I said "yes. Of course. It's embarassing." And he says back "Well then stop looking for motivation. Stop trying to find a crutch or something to fuel you and just DO it. Let the embarassment factor motivate you." And he's right. It was kinda harsh, but definitely necessary.

Anyone who knows me knows that I HATE being bad at things. I hate failing and I hate being told I can't do something. Even Shane knows this and he constantly uses it in my sessions to make me push a little harder. I'll be in the middle of a plank, shaking from the tension, and he'll just stare at the clock, counting the seconds saying "Don't fail, Gina. Don't fail" because he knows thats what works for me.

I am embarassed by my behavior. Where did New Gina go? She disappeared for nearly two months. And that's just not okay. Ever since Shane said that to me, I've been good. REALLY good. I haven't been counting calories but I know i've been eating right and I've hit the gym three days in a row. Hard. I just don't have a choice. I can't go back to the old Gina.

Through this whole period of slacking I've managed to keep within the 187-192 pound range. Even after days of eating pizza AND chinese food or pasta and burgers. Shane says "Well its not necessarily the FAT from all the shit you've been eating, but its probably all water weight that you're retaining". And I suppose he's right, because the past two days I've been good and i'm still in that range. We'll see what the coming week brings.

I don't know if he did it on purpose, but Shane showed me that he lost faith in me. It was bad that I lost faith in myself, but when my trainer lost faith in me that's just too much for me to handle. This is a guy I've been trying to prove I'm not just another weak female client who has a trainer for the sake of saying she has one. I pay for his sessions because I want them to work. ANd now for two months I've been wasting my money, going through the motions, paying lip service to the Fitness Gods. No more. I know I've said it a million times. But he's right. I don't have a choice. NO MORE.

I didn't get to run Cupid's Chase. I stopped training for it when Cassie said she hurt her knee, and when she told me she registered, I didn't get a chance to sign myself up until the registration date was closed. I could've SWORN it was open until midnight the night before the race, but apparently I was wrong and it closed two days beforehand. So now I feel like a schmuck b/c I got myself all psyched for a race I didn't even get the chance to run.

I'm going to finish this. I don't care how. I don't care what I have to sacrifice. I want to be proud of my body. I want to push it to its limits and try new things with it. I DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER CHOICE. "Act the way you want to be, and soon you'll be the way you act"

Friday, January 15, 2010

Just keep swimming...

I know I'm back on track when I gauge my feelings on a "bad day". Today I didn't have a chance to hit the gym because I had work 8:30-5:00 and then Job #2 from 6:30 til ? (I'm still at work so lord knows when I'll leave...) I was in a rough mood earlier today and didn't eat as well as I should have. However, since I'm aiming for 1,300 calories a day, i've really only logged about 1,600 calories today eating a little more carbs than I'm supposed to. And instead of being really down on myself and feeling ridiculously guilty about it, I feel okay. "Eh tomorrow I'll eat fine again and I'll hit the gym hard in the morning" is my attitude. I'm almost impressed with myself how well I'm handling it. So because I'm not freaking out, I know i'm ready for the last 40.

I've been weighing myself everyday which is a TERRIBLE habit. But i've been closely monitoring my progress while I wear off the holiday weight. Before I fell hard off the wagon, the lowest I made it was 186.8 lbs. And now I'm back around 187 even. I've been anxiously awaiting to see the scale reach 186.8 or lower so that I'm officially back on my losing streak. Once I hit that, I know I can go back to weighing myself once (okay, maybe twice) a week and being very anxious to see the results. Saturday mornings would be my official weigh in day both for myself and with the trainer who also does my measurements.

So far, with trying out these new recipes, they've been a huge success. I LOVE the turkey taco meatloaf (ground turkey meat with corn, green peppers, onions, taco seasoning, fat free cheddar and salsa in a loaf pan) and i'm growing accustomed to edamame. Fancy Schmancy Oatmeal (oatmeal with canned pumpkin, cinnamon and sugar-free maple syrup) is an amazing addition to my morning and I find that eating 1,300 calories a day with these new recipe ideas is easy without feeling hungry. I've also rekindled my love affair with nonfat yogurt.

The gym is going great. I'm still training for my Cupid's Chase, so yesterday I ran 2 miles. I set the treadmill for 5.6 and just go. I didn't think I'd make it yesterday. But I did. And for that I'm proud. I'll run 2 miles again one more time on Sunday and then after that I'll jump up to running 2.5 miles. The hard part will be bringing the running outside. I think starting February 1st i'll move to outside running. Maybe now that Kathryn is back up with a healed foot we can go running together. Though I'm sure even after 8 weeks of non-use she's still faster than me lol

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Losing the holiday weight +

I'm so proud of myself. These last couple of days I've been toying with the idea of going back on the keto diet. After going over the pros and cons of going back on keto or just sucking it up and learning to eat right now, I realized that it really is more beneficial to me to just start the healthy eating. Keto is not good to be on for an extended period of time and I was miserable while on it for the duration. I bought myself a few cookbooks and received a Biggest Loser: Simple Swaps book for my birthday so I figured this was the perfect time to put them to good use. I sat down and picked out all the recipes I liked and listed their calorie counts and separated them to lunch or dinner options.

The cool thing about this is that it's actually working quite well! I try to keep the complex carbs to a minimum for dinner, but breakfast and lunch are filled with whole grains, fruit, yogurt, nuts and such. I made a turkey taco meatloaf the other day taht has been serving me well for days now because it was a 6-serving recipe. It is FANTASTIC!! It's ground turkey meatloaf with corn, green peppers, onions, taco seasoning, fat free cheddar cheese and salsa. And - get this - ONLY 127 CALORIES A SERVING! So I have been eating that with asparagus at night. It's packed with protein and healthy, water-filled carbs from the veggies. Tonight I want to make some pumpkin walnut snack muffins that are only 72 calories a serving and packed with more yogurt adn whole grains. It'll be a great combination with something protein heavy.

I'm just so proud of myself for finally getting this right. This is so easy as long as I have the time to actually cook. I've been so afraid of being able to eat anything I want and making the right choices, but with these cookbooks I have (Cook Yourself Thin, Hungry Girl's Guide, Biggest Loser cookbooks), I'm really getting a lot of good suggestions out of it!

My calorie budget is 1358 calories a day, so 339.5 calories a meal and 168.25 calories for two snacks a day. It's supposed to be your weight x 7 to get your calorie budget for weight loss. And with me feeling so great about my healthy eating, I'm more than happy to go to the gym and succeed there as well. I'm up to running two miles at the gym in training for my Cupid's Chase 5k. I'm way ahead of schedule so I'll be running two miles this week (each time I do, a little faster than the last) and two and a half miles next week.

I feel ready to lose this last 40 lbs. FINALLY!!!

Monday, January 4, 2010

Scurbs, Sickness and Snuggies

As my lack of posts would suggest, I've fallen off the wagon. There are a number of contributing factors including (but not limited to): having a new boyfriend, the holidays, being super busy with both jobs, and being sick. But with the new year I'm hoping to set things right again. It's a sad excuse - as if the calender pages turning made any significant difference - but it may just be a boost I need. The more I think about it the more I realize that I'm just afraid that I can't go any farther. I had always assumed that a size 12 was the smallest my body could handle and now I realize that's the farthest thing from the truth. I've put up a mental road block preventing me from making any more headway.

The new boyfriend is actually proving to be a good thing for my weight loss. It turns out we have similar weight loss goals for ourselves. So we've made a pact that give each other small goal points and then reward each other. We've established our first goal point (20 lbs loss for me) but have yet to determine a time frame to do it in or what reward awaits us at the end. It'll take further discussion to decide.

I was also inspired by Tara Costa, yet again. I am a fan on her Facebook Fan Page and regularly check her posts and status updates for some inspiration. Since Biggest Loser Season 9 is scheduled to premiere tomorrow night, she suggested picking a contestant to compete with every week. While it's not realistic to lose as much as any contestant who works out 6-8 hours a day, I do think it's a fantastic idea.

Once I shake this sickness I'll be heading back to the gym strong. I still have aspirations to start running before work and running the Cupid's Chase 5k on February 13th. The ultimate goal is to still lose the final 40 lbs by April 22nd - my one year marker.