Friday, April 30, 2010

My first 5k

















A while ago I knew I wanted to train for the memorial 5k for Maddy. It seemed like it was forever away and that I had tons of time to train. Well....the time quickly approached. And as the months went by that I did nothing but maintain (and if I'm honest with myself, turned from a lean 190 into a flabby 190) I realized how little time I had to be a runner.

Tara Costa advertised a really cool 5k on her Facebook fan page called the JFK Runway Race. You run a 5k ON the JFK airport runway! How cool is that?! She was going to run the race too, and I convinced my high school friend, Cassie, to join me since she's a big Tara fan too. There were promises of Tara signings and photos, goodie bags, and an amazing experience. Queens, NY by 7 am or not...I was going!

The day before the race, the course had to be changed. We were no longer going to be running ON the runway. I'm still not sure why. So we wound up running the outside roads leading into the terminal. It was still an experience for me since it was my first race, but a lot of people were annoyed at the last minute change. Since speed is not my forte with running, my goal was to not walk. That plan was soon foiled after only mile 1. I don't know if it's because I was not used to running outside or if I got caught up in other people's pace, but I was already in terrible pain once I hit the one-mile marker. They greeted everyone at 1 mile with cups of water that you just ran by to grab and I tried jogging while sipping but that just didn't work. I figured it would be an excuse to walk for a second. The whole time, Cassie and her friend and I all kept a similar pace. We promised not to stay at each other's pace if the other wanted to go ahead. But ultimately, we were all pretty much at the same speed (Cassie's friend a little faster than us). Jarrett, Cassie's fiance, is a lot faster than all of us so he started the race out front and finished in nearly half the time that we did! The rest of us girls would run, walk, and then the other would catch up to whoever was in front, we'd walk together for a bit and then started jogging together again. I think we only finished about 30 seconds apart. For my first 5k I clocked in after 3.1 miles at 34 minutes and 5 seconds. Definitely not a good time, but considering that was my first time out and I walked a good portion? I'd say that's actually pretty good. And it's also a pretty good indication that I was just caught up in someone else's speed instead of my own. At my own pace on a treadmill I typically do a 5k in just under 40 minutes without walking.

After the walk you immediately get a bottle of water and get in line to collect your goody bag. It was a tote from the Rotary Club sponsoring the event with some flyers for other events inside, a few mini candies, a pen shaped like an airplane, and a few other trinkets I can't recall. Immediately after this station was a place to pick up your race tshirt, a bagel and a banana. They didn't seem to be the most organized in their distribution, but I guess with over 1,000 participants they were doing the best they could. So we lingered for a bit and then got in line to meet Tara. This time it was very anticlimactic for me. I don't know if it's because I met her already or because I was tired from the race. But it was nice to see her again. I still wanna be her real-life friend!

It was a long commute but very worth it. That experience was a wake-up call that it doesn't matter how much weight I've lost already, I still have a long way to go. I'm 50 lbs down but I still couldn't run a full 5k without some difficulty. I've been running before work this week to gear up for the MADdash5k tomorrow and I still don't know if I'm going to make a better time my goal, or not to walk at all my goal. All I know is that there will be pictures and I will be scrapbooking all my racing bibs, times and info.

Here are some pictures from the race:

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Failure is not an option

Five months. Five months is about how long I've wasted. For some reason, having a boyfriend made me completely lose sight of myself and all the things I wanted. I fell into a depression and a rut that I could not fight my way out of. Don't get me wrong...I'm not saying it's his fault. It's completely my own. I let things get out of control and I didn't time manage well enough to do everything I needed to do for myself. Or maybe I just wasn't ready to be dating while I'm still working on myself. Either way...I failed to hold onto what was making me happy.

My last few posts have been few and far between and all saying the same thing. "Back on the wagon, back on the wagon." Same tune, different words. I felt myself self destructing at the drop of a hat and I reached another breaking point. And it's not the same as the past "I'll do better" half-assed attempts have been. This feels true. I know this is real because I've set new goals for myself and my eating habits are better without me dreading what I'll do without proper preparation. I feel ready. I don't know why I had to start all over, but I feel ready again. That wasn't true before.

My mental state was a lot of the reason I couldn't pull out of the rut. I'm only two days out of this rut, but it's enough to know its real. A lot has happened since my last post. And I'd like to post each thing separately so that I can blog daily again. But this feels legit. And this feels right. I want to finish what I started.

Project 23 continues...