Relapse

After my brother's wedding I can experience what I imagine must be a hangover. I've never really had one before and I didn't drink that much, but it appears that I woke up fine and the feeling of supreme lethargy and the need to eat crap consumed me. Hormones didn't help. So in a moment - nay, day - of weakness, I wound up cheating on my keto diet for the first time. After exactly two months of dedication to the diet and all the trials and tribulations with it, I cheated. I felt terrible guilt but couldn't stop myself from consuming things that were not on the keto menu. It was comfort food. Unfortunately, ever since then (six days ago) I haven't been able to get 100% back on the keto wagon.

I don't believe I've knocked myself completely out of ketosis. I noticed that when I started eating eggs again, I did not get the strange taste of ketones in my mouth the way I had when I started the diet and I didn't feel any lack of energy. So I know I'm out of whack but i'm not completely kicked out. The problem is that because I cheated once, my mind can't shake that "Well you already screwed up already, might as well stay off it now" mentality. So every day since I've been doing medium cheats like a handful of candy corn or a couple soy peppermint mochas. While these are not entire binge meals, it's still a cheat on this diet. And it needs to stop. Yesterday I did so well until I made rice krispie treats for work but wound up eating all the remnants in the bottom of the pan that crumbled. That sounds minor, but it was enough that I ate them with a spoon. Consider that.

I need to get 100% back on the wagon. Luckily I've lost the 4 lbs I seemingly gained from sodium intake (apparently going back to the eggs is helping) and my cheat day. I wanted to stay on this diet through the holidays so that I keep my holiday weight in check. In fact, I think every year around the holidays doing the keto diet would be a fantastic idea to make sure I don't put on those holiday pounds.

I abused myself at the gym the other day out of guilt over this and it's time to stop feeling guilty and just do it right. I have to stop telling myself that a "little cheat" is okay b/c a couple little cheats a day is not. And yes I love my soy peppermint mochas with 2 pumps but in excess? They are part of the problem. Not the solution.

Back on the wagon. Giddy up!