Phase 2 has been seriously sucking. And by sucking I mean I have done nothing towards Phase 2 yet and I'm so mad at myself for it. I just want to be kicking it up a notch when in reality all I'm doing is falling into terrible habits. I haven't been grocery shopping for "transition" food back into a normal diet so I've been getting food out a lot or just eating whatever I can find. It's terrible. This isn't to say that I'm eating terribly but I'm certainly not doing an optimal job of weening myself off this diet. I also haven't been to teh gym since Thursday. It's definitely Monday and I'm workin at McCarter this evening. Four straight days without the gym? Not okay.
As a result I feel the strong urge to abuse myself. I feel the urge to spend all evening at the gym tomorrow and starve myself a little just to make sure that I'm not doing more damage than good. I just wish I could make this terrible urge go away. I know its self destructive and I'm trying to hard to squelch it but it's just not working.
I have GOT to get to the grocery store adn stock up on things that I should eat. The real problem is that I just haven't had the urge to cook or do anything productive in days. I spent the weekend working and so now I feel entitled to sit and do nothing apparently.
This blog is completely incoherent as my thoughts just popped out. I apologize.
General point I want to get across: I suck and I need to knock it off and get back on the god damn wagon.
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